Inbox bombarders

25 Oct 2010 by Emily, 14 Comments »

I know people say it’s polite to give someone a ‘thanks but no thanks’ if they message you on a dating website and you’re not interested. And I agree to a point. If someone’s put effort into their opening message and they’ve genuinelytried, then ignoring them seems a bit callous. But when I get pages and pages of messages that just say ”hey bby how r u? wna meet up sxc’ then it stands that quite a few messages just get read, and ignored. Sometimes, the people who I’ve ignored send a couple more messages and then give up. However, very occasionally I find someone who just doesn’t get the hint. This is my inbox bombarder – he’s been going a month strong now. Each new line is a new message (yes even the ones that don’t make sense on their own as a message, and even the ones that just say one word) and my few replies are in bold:

Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

Does that work often? :/

nooo got loads ofothers… hang on

Do you believe in love at first sight … or should I walk past again?

That doesn’t work on a dating website, sadly.

I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?

Have you got a plaster? Because I hurt my knee falling for you.

Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams.

why dont you model?

My magical watch says you aren’t wearing any underwear!  it must be an hour fast.

There must be something wrong with my eyes. I cant take them off you

do you think your special?

any way these are lovely messages….bet you get some youd rather not read!!
your strange

Why dont you just block me then?….. duh silly me you love getting messages cos it makes you feel great lol

God you take foooooooorever to reply!!!!! I will put this in capitals for you – I DONT WANT TO GAT ANYWHERE WITH YOU!!!! lol Im sure you will be releived!!! i just like talking to you and you are nice to look at!!!!!

We all make mistakes the hedgehog said climbing off the hair brush
good afternoon young lady

you not talking to me now?

cum on im not bad to talk to!!! my chat up lines are supreb!!

promise im not trying to get in to ur nicks(in your dreams) and we will never meet !!!!!

cum on im a good boy really xx

Can i ask?

you know what i really don’t get??? why you don’t have a bf… puzzling

I mean you are one of the best looking women on here


why arent you in modeling?

what about The Sun… page 3 – Amy, 22, Shefield

My name’s Emily. Please stop messaging me now.

I wasnt far off

lovely x

anyway you should be out clubbing Emily xx

good afternoon

good evening young lady

wow new photo x

lovely babe xx


I understand you are not who you say you are and in fact a male 58 yo trying to attract young females? That is what is on the forums

Bear in mind that all of this has gone on over the space of a month. That’s just about 1 message a day. I guess, if I was ever short of a cheesey chat up line or two, I could go to this guy for some help. But someone help me out here – why are guys like this so persistent in the face of blatant disinterest? Of course, feel free to point out the obvious that I could block him at any time. I would have done if it wasn’t for the fact I was keeping this blog in mind. Honestly! :)

I’m also curious to hear how many of you reply to every message you get and what your ‘thanks but no thanks’ messages are like.

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  1. Jess says:

    I only reply to the ones who actually have something to say that seems genuine. For example, the email I got today on from a man who lives in Tennessee (and I live in Maryland) said: “how’s the whether in Maryland?”


    Yeah, I’m probably not gonna answer this one.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    • Jess says:

      Oh, and my “thanks but no thanks” messages are usually something like, “thanks for your note. Unfortunately I don’t think we’re a good match, but good luck in your search.” Most guys don’t bother to respond to that, which is fine. Some thank me for responding. And every once in a while, a guy turns into a total tool and harasses me until I block him.

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  2. DeistBrawler says:

    I typically respond but without asking a question. If you ask a question that invites a discussion.
    For example:
    “Hey! How are you?”

    If they persist just keep doing the same. Eventually they will get the idea. It’s hard to keep a one-sided conversation going.

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    • Paige says:

      I tend to take this approach also, if I like the person and check out their profile, I’ll ask them a question back, but if not then I try to let them down easy by politely answering their message and leaving it at that.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  3. Erika says:

    I’m pretty inconsistent about responding. “Hey, baby, what’s up?” messages often get a quick response because I don’t want those tools to mess up my reply stats, but really long form letters I often don’t respond to at all. I’ll leave them in my inbox for days or weeks because I don’t even know where to begin, and I ultimately delete them. There was one email that appeared to be a form letter at first glance, but, when I re-read it, I noticed that the guy specifically mentioned things in my profile. Nevertheless, it was too much, and I didn’t know how to respond, so I didn’t.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    • Emily says:

      Yes you’re right. If there’s one thing worse than getting a message that just says ‘ur hot’, then it’s getting a message that requires you to scroll down to read it all and includes about 15 questions. Even though you can tell they’ve put thought, effort, and probably a lot of time into their message, it’s just that I don’t have the patience to go through the message point by point answering everything they want to know.

      If someone came up to you at a bar and said ‘fit’, you’d ignore them. If someone came up to you at a bar and rattled on for 15 minutes about themselves asking you lots of questions but not waiting for you to answer them before they asked you another one – you’d probably walk away.

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      • Brad says:

        Aw, crap!

        In the defence of guys that write longer messages, we wouldn’t be offended if you just picked out the bits that interest you.. we only have one chance to make a first impression and personally, I worry that if I leave bits out they might be the bits you like the most.

        If you have a well written profile which includes interesting details about yourself, then your longer profile gives me more to talk about when messaging you – if you’ve clearly spent time on your profile and I just spend 2 seconds saying
        ‘Hey, I like ______ too, how’s you week going? Brad x” Then despite me reading your profile it’s just going to look like I’ve copy pasted something and filled in the blank. Or am I being to sceptical?

        I’m not trying to argue here, just thought my perspective might be meaningful to some of you who get lengthy messages from people who are genuinely trying.. perhaps trying a little too hard!

        In the interest of personal improvement, how long would your ideal first message from a guy be, ladies?

        PS. I cud alwz shrtn msgs lyk this? I mean ‘dis’ (joke. Definite joke!)

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

        • Reepicheep-chan says:

          Well if you just say “Hey I like ___ too” you are probably already pretty far ahead of most guys since it seems like the vast majority do not even bother to look at profiles at all.

          IDK though, that is a hard question since different people are going to have different preferences. But if we are talking about me personally, I think that probably an average paragraph -about 4 or 5 sentence – should probably work out just fine. I would also advise against asking more than one question, a question can show interest but more than one can feel like an interrogation.

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  4. Lorrie says:

    “Hey bby how ru?”


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  5. korukyu says:

    I mention specifically in my profile that guys that “tipe liek dis” shouldn’t message me. When they do, I tend to respond with,

    “I’m sorry, but you didn’t fully read my profile. I’m afraid I’m not interested in someone who doesn’t respect the English language.”

    That usually gets them to go away. Or act like an ass. But it’s the angry rantings are rarely intelligible.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  6. JoshuaR says:

    It’s kind of cool that he’s trying to hone his Jedi mind tricks.

    (Mystical hand pass.)

    “You LOVE getting messages cos it makes you feel great.”

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  7. Sandy says:

    The freak bacon is strong in this one.

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  8. Tessie says:

    It took me awhile to figure out who this guy reminds me of:
    “Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge nudge; wink wink.”
    Except with even less of a success rate.

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  9. Tessie says:

    Whatever criticisms people may have of Cosmopolitan magazine and, um… whatever the male equivalent of Cosmo is… they provide a valuable public service in that they hinder abysmally stupid people in their quest for reproduction a la “Idiocracy”.

    Left to his own devices, this guy would probably send the sort of bland, generic “Hi, how are you?” messages that his picture would suggest. But NO-O-O-OH!! He had to go and read a book/article of “pickup lines” that make him sound like a Catskills reject, because some empathy-challenged douchehound proclaimed in print that “chicks like guys with a sense of humor”.

    So now, instead of coming across as blandly pleasant, he comes across as the sort of obnoxious ass that no woman would date even if he looked like Brad Pitt, because no woman wants an evening of sitting on whoopee cushions and being squirted with a seltzer bottle.

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