So, back on with the Plentyoffish posts, despite my old account being gone forever. Earlier, I had the pleasure of talking to the delightful R1ckYxX, who hasn’t quite grasped the art of conversation, let alone online dating.

R1ckYxX: Xxxx

I didn’t reply to this because it was such a nothing message. A few days later I get this:

R1ckYxX: U wanna fishxxx

Me: No

R1ckYxX: Moody cunt

R1ckYxX: Yr a dog

Me: I’m a moody c*nt and a dog just because I don’t want to talk to you? Haha it must really suck being so angry at everyone all the time. I feel bad for you. Good luck on here, try not to blame everyone else when you keep getting rejected, it’s your own fault.

R1ckYxX: Put it like that I’m sorry
Don’t like 1 word answer
Sorry

R1ckYxX: Mayb don’t reply u won’t have to listen to my crap

Me: Okay, bye then!

R1ckYxX: So u do talk what’s up with u cum on chick ain’t that bad isit

R1ckYxX: Tom boy Xbox belong on jeremy Kyle u pisstaker lol

Me: Look, I don’t want to talk to you. You’re rude, illiterate and we’re definitely not a match. Don’t message me again, go talk to someone else.

R1ckYxX: Look u skinny white rude bitch go suck yr mum u cunt hahaaaaa lol gel on mug I’d cum in yr eye n blind ya

Ah well, at least I’m a skinny bitch this time round. I’m still trying to work out what ‘gel on mug’ actually means though – any ideas?