How Chavs do Online Dating

31 Jan 2012 by Emily, 3 Comments »

So, back on with the Plentyoffish posts, despite my old account being gone forever. Earlier, I had the pleasure of talking to the delightful R1ckYxX, who hasn’t quite grasped the art of conversation, let alone online dating.

R1ckYxX: Xxxx

I didn’t reply to this because it was such a nothing message. A few days later I get this:

R1ckYxX: U wanna fishxxx

Me: No

R1ckYxX: Moody cunt

R1ckYxX: Yr a dog

Me: I’m a moody c*nt and a dog just because I don’t want to talk to you? Haha it must really suck being so angry at everyone all the time. I feel bad for you. Good luck on here, try not to blame everyone else when you keep getting rejected, it’s your own fault.

R1ckYxX: Put it like that I’m sorry
Don’t like 1 word answer
Sorry

R1ckYxX: Mayb don’t reply u won’t have to listen to my crap

Me: Okay, bye then!

R1ckYxX: So u do talk what’s up with u cum on chick ain’t that bad isit

R1ckYxX: Tom boy Xbox belong on jeremy Kyle u pisstaker lol

Me: Look, I don’t want to talk to you. You’re rude, illiterate and we’re definitely not a match. Don’t message me again, go talk to someone else.

R1ckYxX: Look u skinny white rude bitch go suck yr mum u cunt hahaaaaa lol gel on mug I’d cum in yr eye n blind ya

Ah well, at least I’m a skinny bitch this time round. I’m still trying to work out what ‘gel on mug’ actually means though – any ideas?

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3 Comments

  1. Tessie says:

    “Yr a dog”

    Yup, that’s it.
    You’re such a dog that Ricky boy had a full-out toddler tantrum because you didn’t want to talk to him.

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  2. Ket says:

    Well, “mug” is usually slang for the face, and given the context of “cum in yr eye”, I suspect that “gel on mug” is his charming way of threatening to ejaculate on your face, or of saying that you already look like someone has ejaculated on your face. One of the two.

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  3. adam says:

    “gel on” is basically telling someone to fuck off/go away… “get on your bike” sort of thing

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